31st October 2009
What's gotten to me? Why have i been feeling so down this few days? It's not me at all. Although i faked a smile on the outside, but on the inside, i know how i am feeling.. No matter how much i wanna show it out, i just couldn't.. I really dun want others to keep asking me what happen to me.. I just need someone to confide this with.. Is it that hard to find someone whom you can trust so much to share these things with? I want to find back the real me.. I don't want to feel this way anymore.. God, i really hate this.. I want to be the real me, the cheerful, old me.. The me that goes crazy even in the tinist things..
Arashi never fails to make me smile or laugh. Even in my times of sadness and all.. If only i knew them in person, but that's like so impossible.. It's only possible in my own dreams. Recently, added them in facebook, people keep telling me not to go so into them cause they are all fakes.. But i really dunno, they just look so real.. I really hope to make some friends, find friends whom i could confide and they will even keep it a secret.. What to do, it's all reality.. This is the real world..
My childhood dreams, i'm still wondering if i could possibly fulfill them or not? Japan.. Will i be able to go? Volunteery work, when will i do one? I really wanna go Japan very much, as well as learn Japanese, but the fees for Japanese classes are way too expensive.. Been trying to learn through Japan Dramas though. Manage to understand quite well though. Not bad huh? HAHA. Found out my name in Japanese, マデリーン. Cool huh?
I shall stop here. I'm sorry if i'm not really in a good mood..
じゃね!
"The real me has gone on hiding. When will it come back, i don't know.."
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 1:24 AM
