22nd November 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Well, today's my birthday. HAHA! Celebrated my birthday today with my cell. HAHA! They blindfolded me and made me walked from Parkway all the way back to church. The whole trip was dark and scary. I could only hear and feel the surroundings. But it was FUN! Exciting! HAHA! I received a Bob the Builder cake and a sunflower from 6.7!! YAY! First time receiving a flower for my birthday present. HAHA. I received presents from Wendy too. Two shirts and two bath soaps?? HAHA! But it was not over yet...

Surprisingly, the speaker today, Dr. Tim Elmore, is having his birthday today too. So Pastor Jian Cong invited those who had the same birthday as him down the stage. Some of my zone people "sabo-ed" me, of course. There were two other Geners too. HAHA. So well, they sang birthday song and all.

Service, Dr Tim talks about Life Sentence. God uses different people for different purposes. Everyone is a leader and there are two kinds of leaders. One kind is a natural leader. Born to lead people. Another kind is a situational leader. Lead people according to specific situations.

For me, i think i'm the second one, situational leader. I'm not natural leader. i don't really know how to lead people. But i hope i could lead well in camp, since i'm chosen as the Assistant Leader of Group one(Haven't choose a name for the group), working together with Wilbert. So yeah, quite nervous, i guess.. I go with the flow of the Spirit though. HAHA!

じゃね!

"Will i be able to do it?"

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 12:07 AM

Omgosh! I just had the worst nightmare! I HATE LIZARDS! Yucks. I dreamt of having a lizard on my bed. That lizard had spots. OMGOSH! GROSS! Then, someone making the lizard dropped on the floor and i screamed in my dream. I HATE LIZARDS VERY MUCH!!! GET AWAY FROM MY LIZARDS!

じゃね!

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 1:54 AM

5th November 2009
I went to visit Sarrah with Wendy. Well, it's was a fun day though. Ate Popeye's with them at Changi Airport. HAHA.

6th November 2009
Had barbecue at Joel's place. We celebrated Daniel's birthday few days in advance as he won't be in Singapore on his actual birthday. I loved the Chicken wings a lot! HAHA.

私は本当に..を理解していない真剣に..私はあなたの心..で何を考えているのか分からない時には、私は希望するだけ..あなたの目を大きく開く可能性がそして、たぶんあなたのセル..来ると言ってくれたしかし、完全に、バーベキュー後、あなたの心を変えた。あなたが一度かもしれない細胞が来るだろうと言うことはなかったが、と述べたが、あなたでした！あなたの妹さんが聞いたのはあまりにも..私は本当に回..で何を考えているのか分からないどのようにiだけの願いは、私はそこのバーベキューで..された

じゃね!

"数日経っていると私たちはすでに..
との間の距離を感じた"

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 11:21 AM

HAHA!! That's a NICE photo of the birthday girl today! YAY!! HAHA. As promise, here's the message to you. HAHA! I know you will kill me for putting that photo on. HAHA. But well, i don't care. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YUI! I shall write in Japanese for you. xD

誕生日おめでとう! 多分あなたのために、誕生日はあなたへちょうど何もではないです。 しかし私は私誕生会に出席して嬉しいです祝います人々の誕生日を言うことを望みます。 1年より古いおよびことそれは証明であるので今まで住んでいたことまた証明です。 旅行はまだ長いです。 申し分なく未来に前に進もう、別の誕生日に先に見る! 私はしかし知って実際に幸せです。 誕生日おめでとう! 私はあなたの誕生日を来年祝えます再度望みます。 申し分なく、私は今日すべての微笑および悲しくないことを望みます。 (:

Done. HAHA. Happy reading. Don't emo already. Come on, it's your birthday, right? Must smile on your birthday wor~ (: I think the message abit short sia.. But oh well.. HAHA.

じゃね!

"誕生日だけを一度毎年有します。 それは幾年もの間世界にあること証明です。 私はここにまだあることを知って幸せです。 幸せなIこの世界に生まれたことを知ることさらにもっと。 誕生日おめでとう!"

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 12:31 PM

4th November 2009
Today's different. I shall start off with a video. HAHA! I can't stop laughing when watching this video. Starting is nothing. Just continue watching until they starts talking to the robot and the fun starts there. Sakurai Sho is funny in this video, the way he chomped at the mic of the robot. You should watch how he react. He made sound effects too. HAHA!!

Well, nothing much today. I updated my story. Read it soon, yeah? (:

To someone:
真剣に、迷惑です。 出かけないことによって死にますか。 私はなぜ悲しいとき元気づけなければなりませんか。 それは私と正しくすることを何も持っていませんか。 だれあなたに私をあります考えますか。 あなたのミイラか。 言うこと残念私はあなたのミイラではないです。 私はあなたによって言いました事をする必要がありません。 私はあなたのパペットまたは犬ではないです。 私はあなたと私にに尋ねたときに出かける必要がありません。 私は悲しいとき元気づける必要がありません。 真剣に、時々、私はあなた、私の前の爆発したい実際に制御しました気がしますが。 私は神の優美によって私があなたの方の私の気性を今まで制御してもいいこと、それ行います推測します。 しかし時々、私の神経で実際に得ます。 私の生命に干渉することを止めて下さいそうですね?

To someone close to me:
時々私、何がずっとしています疑問に思いますか。 あなたがなぜちょうどするべきな事はするかわりに神に戻りますか。 私は実際に考えているものの、この頃は言うことがわかりません。 今言うことがわかることはとても困難です。 私は実際に私達が神のための火にそうあった行ってもいいことを時望みます。 すぐに悪事はである実現し、もどって来ますもの希望。

誕生日おめでとう, Yui! (:

じゃね!

"時々、私は私が考えているものをについて知りません。"

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 1:32 AM

2nd November 2009
I seriously find it hard to smile whole heartedly.. Why is it so? I don't know. I just need someone to understand me more, lend me their ears.. Someone whom i can trust with all my heart. It's hard to find someone whom can understand you and also whom you can trust with all your heart.

ps. Pardon me for writing in Japanese. For those who can read, sorry if the translation in Japan is not clear.

だれでも実際に言うことがわかります私のできますか。 私はだれでも信頼してもいいですか。 私は実際にだれを私が実際にもう信頼してもいいか知りません..

幸福。 幸福は何丁度ですか。 幸福はどこに私が捜しているありますか。 友人。 友人は何丁度ですか。 私は実際に私の友人であるように行動することを試みる人々を憎みます。 普及しているとき、友人の多くを有することそれは本当ですか。 しかしそれらのあなたの真の友達はありますか。 私は実際に真実を見るためにあなたの目を開けることができることを望みます。 しかし私は真実を見ることを疑います。

Happy birthday, Mummy!

じゃね!

"いつあなたの目を開け、起こっていることあなたのまわりで見ますか。"

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 11:40 PM

1st November 2009
Smiles.. so fake.. I can't believe i could actually fake out a smile.. I find it so hard to smile, but i still manage to smile.. What's gotten into me? I feel so fake.. I feel something amiss in me, but i just dunno what it is.. It just felt.. empty.. Would anyone even understands? God, i need to know what is it that is lacking in me.. I hate this feeling..

My birthday is slowly sneaking in. Would i be happy on that day? I really dunno.. Birthday.. Would it be the time where my answer is found? Or would it be just a usual day, faking my smiles and all? Just what is missing in my life.. I really dunno and i want to know..

Would my childhood dreams come true? Would i ever make it to Japan? Would i be able to learn Japanese? Would i ever become a Volunteer? Will i ever fulfil those in future? Future.. Dreams.. What are them exactly? Japan.. I will find some ways to go there..

じゃね!

"Something is missing.. It just felt so.. empty.."

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 11:56 PM

31st October 2009
What's gotten to me? Why have i been feeling so down this few days? It's not me at all. Although i faked a smile on the outside, but on the inside, i know how i am feeling.. No matter how much i wanna show it out, i just couldn't.. I really dun want others to keep asking me what happen to me.. I just need someone to confide this with.. Is it that hard to find someone whom you can trust so much to share these things with? I want to find back the real me.. I don't want to feel this way anymore.. God, i really hate this.. I want to be the real me, the cheerful, old me.. The me that goes crazy even in the tinist things..

Arashi never fails to make me smile or laugh. Even in my times of sadness and all.. If only i knew them in person, but that's like so impossible.. It's only possible in my own dreams. Recently, added them in facebook, people keep telling me not to go so into them cause they are all fakes.. But i really dunno, they just look so real.. I really hope to make some friends, find friends whom i could confide and they will even keep it a secret.. What to do, it's all reality.. This is the real world..

My childhood dreams, i'm still wondering if i could possibly fulfill them or not? Japan.. Will i be able to go? Volunteery work, when will i do one? I really wanna go Japan very much, as well as learn Japanese, but the fees for Japanese classes are way too expensive.. Been trying to learn through Japan Dramas though. Manage to understand quite well though. Not bad huh? HAHA. Found out my name in Japanese, マデリーン. Cool huh?

I shall stop here. I'm sorry if i'm not really in a good mood..

じゃね!

"The real me has gone on hiding. When will it come back, i don't know.."

-ABIGAIL-
夢なら愛したままで
realised@ 1:24 AM